Hey! In Europe things are like this, and in America things are like this. Let’s take a moment to focus on really quite minute differences. And then let’s compare things and say who’s better. Culture!

• smaller fridges. Point: Europe.

• no garbage disposals. Point: USA.

- European windows. They have a handle and if you turn it down, it opens like a door, but if you turn it up, the top of the window leans into the room. These are great. Point: Europe.

• often the toilet and the sink/shower are in different rooms. Point: Europe, I guess?

• sometimes the toilet has a shelf. Stuff lands on the shelf, then the water flushes it down into the hole. Still don’t get this. Point: USA.

• sometimes the shower is on the same level as the rest of the floor. Like in India. The whole floor gets wet. This is silly. Point: USA.

• usually there’s a hand-held shower head. This looks useful but is actually inconvenient. I need one hand to hold the shampoo bottle, one hand to put the shampoo into, and one to hold the shower head. Point: USA.

• sometimes there is no shower curtain. What the hell! Do you sit down to take a shower? Point: USA.

• sometimes there is a water heater. This can be kind of neat, in that you actually hear when the gas starts, so you get a little feedback that maybe makes you use less hot water. One guy I stayed with, though, he had to make sure not to ever turn the heater on while the shower isn’t on, or it could start a fire. Usually you don’t even notice.