I met with a counselor a couple weeks ago (through CAPS! it’s free! you get 12 free sessions!)… I was all depressed and wanted to know if I was actually depressed or just sad. Turns out I was just sad. Well, good to know, anyway.
But she asked if I ever experience mania, describing a sensation of a ton of energy and euphoria, where you can’t sleep or anything, lasting like 24-48 hours. Well, until she mentioned the 24-48 hours thing, I thought, “all the time.” Usually on weekends or when something really sweet is coming up, and usually after some coffee.
Right now, I’m getting that. Now, son of a gun, I had a 20oz. of diet dr. pepper a few hours ago, when I thought I’d be in UC318 for hours. I thought, pop doesn’t have enough caffeine to get me manic. But it does, and now here I am. God, it’s a wonderful sensation. I can do anything right now. It’s one of the greatest feelings on earth, partially because I feel able to really be me, able to really enjoy life right now. Everything else is better. It’ll suck a little bit tomorrow because I’ll be low on sleep (especially after the last 2 nights) but right now, I feel great. I’m trying to calm myself down, because really, I’m tired too.
Why are things great?
-Little Footsteps was great. I’m so proud of it. I think I probably did the best job I’ve ever done in it, just because I hopefully progressed as an actor since WASP a year ago. WASP might have been a better final product- man, that show was great. But whatever, Little Footsteps was great too. All of us (incl. actors, directors, and all the tech folks- thanks so much to you guys by the way!) did excellently.
-No more rehearsals! I love SnS, I like acting, but it’ll be nice to have some time off.
-This weekend’s been great. Saturday’s party at Il Valetto house was a lot sweeter than I thought it’d be. I took notes in Sharpie marker on an exercise band. I’m becoming more comfortable with who I am again, I think. That’s a lot to say as an offhand remark, and I’m not sure if it’s entirely true, but I hope so. I feel like I’ve backslid as a person this semester, and maybe I’m climbing back out.
-City of Angels passed for Carnival, and I feel good about the decision we as a board made. It may be very cool.
-I may turn said party notes into a story. Or maybe I’ll just post them. I want to write something. It’ll suck, but I want to write something. Maybe it’ll be about the party, maybe not. This is the kind of thing I say when I’m manic.
-Four funny things today:
1. I yelled “fuck! shit!” prompting someone (Grubb? Gerrit?) to ask “Did you just step in the Tourette’s spot?”
2. A good 185 pun from Julie: 185 neutrons walk into a bar and ask “How much for a drink?” The bartender says, “For you, no charge.”
3 and 4. These are posters I saw. One said, in the middle of a page:
The other one said “Do you want a free iPod?” and it had pictures of ipods. No contact info or anything. And it had the little tear-off things on the bottom, where it usually has a website or phone number or something. But it just said:
Yes, I would, indeed.
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