I am The Coldest

Geez! I am so cold! I got in like 15 minutes ago and I’m still shivering. I remember being really really cold only a couple times: once, when I was picking up prickly balls that my grandparents' tree dropped in their yard (this was a chore for some money to pay for saxophone repairs after I threw it on the floor in a fit of rage); once in marching band at the St. Patrick’s Day parade when it was so cold out and I was way underdressed and marching in a goddamn parade so it’s not like I could go inside or anything; once at Seven Springs, PA, when I was skiing, alone, with the CMU Ski Club (I was again way underdressed) and the snow was icy and it was at night and visibility was bad and the wind was blowing but goddamn I was going to get every last run I could out of that hill (this was a bad call). Why am I so cold? I just biked home from Phinney, maybe 5 or 6 miles away, downhill like hardcore, except I stopped off at my friend’s friend’s house (although, now, friend’s house), and it was cold too, and oh my god it’s like 15 more minutes later and I am still so cold.

(my temperature is 95 degrees, so at least I don’t have a fever. Maybe I am turning to ice.)

Oh my gourd I might add this to the list of “Times I was so cold.” I am so so cold.


Anonymous -

For a very smart guy, you need to wise up. Get some more clothes and dress for the windchill- especially on your bike.
Go buy some layers & bundle up, Mr Crankypants!

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