Loosen up!

… is what I need to do. I’m always so distant from people. Oh wah wah emo blast. But really, man, why can’t I just kinda open up, talk more, have more fun? I feel like an outside observer, watching a fun party. I pull aside the drapes, take a look inside, it’s like something out of a bad movie, like the hungry kid looking inside the bakery window. Then they see me, invite me in, and I nod sure, but then I don’t go up to the door. Or else I shout a few jokes in the window, it’s a bizarre scene, the kid looking in the window says funny things, but never comes inside to really talk to people. Why not? Why do I just retreat into my little “snail shell”, if you will?

So apologies, folks, if I seem distant. I’m not trying to be. I overanalyze every moment, maybe it’s some ENTJ thing or something. But as time goes on, I’ll try to be more of an active person and less of a shell of a presence standing around.

In other news, happy sweet *ahem* thursday! Somehow I feel like I’m stomping all over religion. But I think spending time with friends is more important than something I don’t really believe anyway.

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