"Pirates"

This whole event makes me happy.

In case you’re unaware, (i.e. not from CMU), each week CMU shows movies, usually Wednesday-Sunday, for $1 in one of our main auditoriums. Usually, the movie titles are advertised in advance, except for one day each semester, where the only title given is “TBA”. That’s code for “porn”. So yeah, once a semester, we show porn in a University Center auditorium.

Right before break, there was a TBA called “Pirates.” This happens to be the highest-budget porn ever made (so I’m told) and includes (amidst lots of sex) CGI pirate ships and skeletons. Naturally, it was advertised a little more than most TBA’s. So it got more exposure, so it came under fire from lots of folks. Some students got annoyed that we were “using student activities money to show porn,"* they had some discussion at the UC about it, and local news station KDKA even covered the event.

* this allegation is false; they brought in more than enough money from ticket sales to cover the cost of showing the movie, or so I’m told.

Oh, by the way, it got mobbed. It sold out all 3 shows, there were huge lines through the UC, most people didn’t even get in. I happened to get in, and I saw it… it was pretty graphic (“hardcore”, as KDKA said a lot)- I mean, it wasn’t even enjoyable to watch. Besides the skeletons. Those were pretty funny.

But the point is, we at CMU did something noteworthy, kind of rebellious, people got angry, and we don’t care! I mean, I think it’s a hilarious tradition- if the campus got together to watch a bad movie once each semester, that’d be funny… the fact that it just happens to be a porn is so much better! Take that, politically correct society! Take that, administrators and bureaucrats! It’s a prank on the entire system, an entirely harmless prank even, and I think it’s great. So bravo, Activities Board, and bravo, CMU.


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