I am not succeeding, and I don't blame anyone else.

First: how’s life? I hate coding so much. What am I even doing in this industry? The people at work are pretty cool, and they’re not asking me to do anything particularly great, but I just can’t get anything done. And, of course, I want to do a good job, and I’m not so far. I think. Who knows? In summary, I am hating my job, and feeling bad about myself for doing so.

How lame is that? That is not the way to solve anything. With a couple more hours of sleep in me, maybe I can do better.

Listening to some good music, though. Abbey Road and Rubber Soul have been on the ol' iTunes, along with Tally Hall and OK Go, and a little bit of Eels. Abbey Road is pretty good, except “Her Majesty”, despite what you think, Ram. Tally Hall is pretty good, and varied, and so good for them! But one of the genres they go into is “boy band”. They’ll have to work on that.

I’ll be gone this weekend, at Ohiopyle w/ my family. Should be neat. I’ll be back on Sunday (for the concert on Sunday night, anyway)

As the Eels have said, “That’s Life!”

As for last year: the story is mostly told. What happened the rest of the semester? A lot of not very much. I became an instigator in the group, then eventually left the group after meeting other folks who I found more interested in things that I found fun. That’s life too. Somewhere in there, I ended up getting a couple of Facebook groups and the Fence named after me. I guess life works out for the Beta male.

Wait, except, remember how in wolf packs, only the alpha male and alpha female mate? I’d argue that life at CMU is similar to life in a wolf pack. (for example, both places, sometimes you wake up next to a bear.) To be honest, I am not finding anyone particularly interesting (nor vice versa) and I can’t keep blaming CMU.

Which brings us to this year. I’m meeting this group, performing very well in this social game, if I do say so myself. But I’m not particulary spending a lot of time with them, because I’d rather spend time with my current friends. Which is fine. Except I’d still like to meet more girls. See Beej’s previous comment. I mean, really, that’s it. Which is why it’s kind of lame because I’ve been doing stuff like playing poker and ultimate frisbee with this group’s alpha male’s high school friends (all dudes.) I don’t even like poker! And, well, in ultimate frisbee, the one time I really got to throw the frisbee, I, uh, threw it into the next field.

“That’s Life!”

And then there’s The Tao of Pooh, which is making me think about my world once again. It’s pretty neat. I mean, the author’s pretty much a condescending dick, but he (or rather the Taoists who wrote the stuff that he read) makes a lot of great points. “Don’t worry.” “Deal with it.” It’s so laid-back. (another interesting bit is that, just as I’m thinking that I’m in the wrong field because I hate programming, I read the chapter about Tigger in “The Te of Piglet”, and how we modern people are always starting new things and never finishing, and we never stick it out and accomplish anything. Coincidence?)

I’d write more, but probably the main problem with me right now is the lack of sleep. As always, right? I’m off to the dream world now. See you all Sunday.


Anonymous -

how was ohiopyle?!

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