This is pretty nice. I sometimes alternate between bits of feeling wonderful and feeling kinda out of it. Now I’m on an upswing. That’s good.
On an upswing, everything is fast and colorful and energetic! And I say yes to things. I have physical energy to do things. I have willpower to resist things. I have mental energy to think about and plan things. I have … interpersonal energy? … to really care about people.
I remember a couple of these in recent history: while making Is it a Party? and after realizing I wanted to go to grad school. This one doesn’t have such a cause. So why is it happening?
Blame it on a lot of things: nice weather, having allergy medicine again, making progress at work. Coming back from vacation maybe, but I felt not so great the first week or so after vacation. I did fast for a day on Memorial Day, and thought “wouldn’t it be convenient if this were a turning point?” … maybe it was, coincidentally or not.
Anyway, upswings all end… is this one different? I hope so. The difference this time could be that I’m more focused on compassion. Also, I realize that my previous goals were to minimize all that I don’t want, and that approach wasn’t working for me, so perhaps I can wisely refill my life now. I’m going a little easier on myself. Maybe I’ve learned something.
… uhh, talk about feelings on the internet much? whatever, I’m feeling good, I don’t care what you think! plus, this is as close to a diary as I have, and I like to record these things.
Oh, unrelatedly, I jumped out of a plane last weekend. I quite recommend it.
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