a few obvious things
- most people seem to think life is pretty good
- life is also pretty complex
- every day has a million good things and a million bad things
- whichever of those you focus on is your reality
how is this relevant now
When I’m in the muck, nothing seems good. the positive voices seem like Pollyannas. I can’t change it once I’m there. it’s like Severance. the miserable innie doesn’t want to listen to the outie who’s living the good life.
Unlike in Severance, the innie would rather not exist. he doesn’t like being miserable. being miserable and heard is better than being miserable and ignored, but not being there is better than both. So maybe the deal that outie-me can strike with innie-me is: if we, together, can focus on the upsides more, you (innie) don’t have to exist as much
But it’s also hard talking with him without treating him as an object or a problem, and I assume either of those stances will make him shut right down, and I wouldn’t blame him.
related: victim of metonymy
a friend blogged this a while ago, and the phrase stuck with me. I do this a lot:
- particular thing is bad
- I do not focus on that but instead say that a much larger thing is bad
- that makes me feel like the world is collapsing
An example:
- project at work was frustrating because I was working with an old system that nobody’s really maintained
- I had to leave and on the way home I was grousing about how I hate my job
- wait, I don’t actually hate my job, I just hate this one part of this one project. I’ve made myself a victim of metonymy1
so now what
Ok, I have a little more energy right now and life seems hopeful. Current practice, then, includes “stop being victim of metonymy, befriend innie, focus on the positive.”
“focus on the positive” is too much to bite off, though, so I’m starting with “orient”: just focus on the outside world, feel my senses, feel connected with it all. I think this is basically the same thing that most everyday practices point at: Alexander technique, meditation practice off-the-mat, “stop and smell the flowers”, “take a deep breath.” Life is a little easier if you just chill out right now.
I’m gonna get so good at it.2
usually, including in this case, it’s “victim of synecdoche”, but using “metonymy” instead is a synecdoche I can live with ↩︎
comic by owlturd.com where B says “hey type A friend, stop and smell the flowers” and the type A friend gets so aggressive and tries to become the #1 flower smelling champion ↩︎
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